My kind of luxury, liberating single-parent-life

As I am writing this, my daughters seem to be taking turn to constantly blabbing away next to my ears and asking for my attention, to look, watch, and listen to their "stories" (currently it's about a bunny and some Veggie friends having a picnic after a big, adventurous trip to the Supermarket), so if my writing appeared distracted and disconnected then - please accept my apology.

There are days when I used to wish that it lasted more than 24 hours just so I could get more things done. Though now, I can wake up without feeling guilty for not having gone to bed before the first hour of the next day actually arrived. To be able to do that hasn't been easy for me since I became a single parent since the 3 years. Learning to relax and leaving things undone everynow and then wasn't an easy thing for me to do even though I knew it's equally important.

I like getting stuff done; tuck, tuck, tuck! The sooner they're out of my way, the better. Be it housework, paper work or even appointments. If I need to have a meeting with someone, I preferred to choose the early morning hours. Some people may wondered why I am this way, it's because I need to put myself under time pressure in order to get things done and it must be done right now, otherwise I'll be in a totally opposite timeline mode where nothing get done at all for a while. I happen to be one of those who find peace and calm better in a neat environment. It means, the quicker I get my jobs done, the sooner I can get to enjoy my blissful peace and calm mind mode. But in truth, this isn't always possible so I often ended up feeling annoyed with myself and totally frustrated. I knew something wasn't right. I needed a change.

***Pause***Time to go hidding the Easter Eggs***

I reset my priorities and simply slowdown. I set myself a more realistic goals and focus on what really matter now. It makes me breath better. No doubt I could also sleep better at night and even more hours than previously. That, in my opinion, is luxury. Leaving everything behind so I could run out to catch up with my pilates classes, meeting up with friends and spending more times with my pets is all worth it. That is again, my luxury for life. Every now and then I even forgot my appointments. But you know what, it felt good and it made me laugh. The good news is, those work that got left behind, they usually never run away from me so we'll always have time to catch up on that - at some point.

As a single, self-defined I-can-do-it-all-mom, my favourite part of this job is, I get to choose and determine what, how, when and why I want to get things done. You see, I rule. The kids know, mom's the boss. Life is oh-so-beautiful. What a luxury life I have :-)

Now, let me just take another sip of wine before I continue with all the bragging. Did I say wine? I meant coffee;-) But I'll remember to come back to the wine all right. Afterall, that is also part of my luxury life!

So, when I say that I am a "I-can-do-it-all-mom", I meant litterally that. I'm as much a mum and a dad for my two girls after all since there're just the three of us now. It hasn't always been this way obviously but as we all knew, sometimes life don't always turn out the way we've expected it to be. This is exactly why I believe, all the more reason why we should embrace every good things we have right in front of us and right now. In my case, my two precious princesses.

***Meanwhile, the girls found all the 30 eggs hidden*** Natalie won and Leila was almost in tears (she's absolutely terrible at losing games). Anyway, both got giant chocolate eggs as rewards so Leila could smile again :-)

The moment I discovered that, keeping up with it all doesn't matter as much compared to the need to feel that I am doing the right thing, I felt so liberated. I don't know if everything is going to be OK but at least I am not afraid if everything isn't going to be OK. I used to worry way too much as I felt that every decisions I made each day should effect the rest of my children's future. I was and still am worrying that I will make the wrong decision or not doing enough to be a good parent or being a good enough example for them. I used to drive myself crazy about all that but fortunately I could turn myself around and saw that, what I really wanted, I already have. My two happy, healthy kids.

It's OK when everything else isn't perfect right now but I have so much time (luxury) and opportunites (another luxury) to get to listen to them when they so excitedly fighting to share their stories at school, to see their happy faces when they knew they've done something great, whether from school, with friends or in their own spare times. I have no doubt that I am on the right path and I am doing the right thing.

I don't need to be a super mummy, just a mummy who are at times, very forgetful. And I knew I am doing doing OK with that :-)

Happy Easter to all!

To have or not to have a pet?

To have or not to have a pet? This has been quite a battle of discussion within my family for awhile now. The topic just got a little more heated after I've recently been asked to babysit a friend's frogs over the summer holiday. Apparently "fish" is the currently trend as house pet. Every second person I spoke to seemed to have just bought an aquarium. 

"Shall we have a Goldfish?" I teased my girls. "Well...Goldfishes are nice, but we preferred something we could hold, mummy".

Well, that meant to be just a joke. I would have said no anyway even if their answer was yes for the Goldfish. 

There are times when I wonder if adopting a pet is part of the Swiss culture but that would be too exaggerating right? Yet in the area where we live, nearly everyone I knew seemed to own a pet of some sort. My neighbor on the left has two dogs and a cat (or two?). The neighbor behind me has one cat. The neighbor opposite me has a cat and a dog. The neighbor two houses down has two dogs, and there are just more cats and dogs more houses down the neighbors next to the neighbors, up the hills and down the hills. As for us, apart from the little birds who's been making some nests around the inside corners of our windows, we're probably the only one here without a pet. 

Are we not kind enough to officially adopting one? My girls and I loved animals (who doesn't really?) They've always been bombarding me with images of animals that they find cute, especially the baby little ones. In fact, they are all about anything small. They once adopted an earthworm they found in the garden and called it "Mijji". Fortunately I managed to persuade them to let it go back and do the work in our flower bed. But then there was this other time when they discovered a young field mouse. That was the time when they ended up in tears at letting go. Ever since then Natalie began her little obsession with mice and co. 

"Mummy, please... could be a little mouse too.. At least I can hold and stroke her. You'd never have to take her out for a walk!"

Mice?!? Urgggggg....!!! Why not rabbits or guinny pigs? I mean, at least those are really cute and cuddly! But mice?? What can you do with them? Ain't they supposed to be pest?? Well, that's my immediate opinion.

"Mummy, please... So-and-so are getting a hen/mouse/hamster/rabbit... Why can't we have a mouse? They're so cute and they stay small forever. I would even pay for it my self, pleassssss...mummy."

"Huh, pay for it? Can you actually even buy a mouse?"

Natalie then grabbed her iPad and showed me Youtube videos of some very well trained mice. Apparently you could even train them to play basketball! I'm impressed. Both with the fact that she did her research and that some mice are considered as pets. 

"But who will take care of them when we're away? Mummy will not take the mice on holiday with us!" 

"Mummy, all my friends will be happy to look after them!"

"Well, Natalie, have you discussed this with their mums?" That was my final answer, then. 

Until...

One fine day, I got a phone call from a friend; "Hey, come over for a coffee and bring the girls, we just got some newborn bunnies!"

And the next thing is: "Owwwww...Mummy, they're soooooooo sweet! Can we not keep some?"

"Oh! That would be great if you can take some. We're looking for some new homes for these bunnies, can't keep them all as the mother is already pregnant again!", was the response from my friend. At the same time I thought if this coffee was planned? Hmmm...

Then again, these thoughts were going through my head: ...

The bunnies are indeed very sweet. 

"At least" these are cute and cuddly bunnies, they're not mice.

The kids are constantanly repeating what sounded like prayers.

 "Sure, then we'll take two if that's OK with you?"

Opps, did I just said yes?

Oh - what a cry of joy from my daughters. 

While everyone is happy, the mummy me wasn't quite sure of the situation she just got herself involved really. My friend said we can collect them after they no longer needed their mum, about a month from then. The one month time for the preparation of the bunnies' new home seemed more like the time for me to be mentally prepared for all that is yet to come. You know how it works at the end if the day; the kids get the pet, the mums get the work. As if I don't already have enough at hands. 

The interesting thing is, during this one month period, we've been visited constantly by a cat. She seemed to have come from nowhere, we've never seen her around here before so I placed a little notice for the "Lost cat found" and managed to track down the owner. Her name is Ginger and she is from the other side of the village accross the main street. Also Ginger is a boy. He loves to roam about and usually get disappeared up to a week before returning home, sometimes by cars of other kind neighbors when he wandered off too far. We carried him back a couple of times to make sure he gets fed but he usually made his way back to our garden by the following mornings so we decided to just let him be. The owner simply confirmed us not to worry about him; "When he's too cold or hungry, he'll come home". That's her answer. Oh well.

By the time the bunnies are matured enough to be separated from their mother, I realized there were still a couple of things that ain't yet ready, like...rabbit food, water bottles, and what else again? But definitely a water bottle or two.

I made a visit to the pet shop with the girls a day before the bunnies arrive. There's a nice new pet shop in town that we've never checked out. I wondered if this is where all the aquariums at my friends' places came from.

In the pet shop. The girls went ballistic. "Mummy, look at the fish, look at the frogs, oh, that giant spider, mummy, they even got a snake here!" And then they discovered the best corner where a couples of other little girls were already there, making owww and awwww noices. The bunnies, the guinny pigs, the hamsters and of course, the mice of various types and colors. Things get even more exciting in the pet shop then.

I drove home with a water bottles, dried grain food for bunnies, vitamin drops, chunks of himalaya salt, toys and home deco for the bunnies and all things necessary for mice.

Did I say mice? 

Opps! I did it again!!!

I must have said yes somehow because I found myself driving back to the pet shop and picked up the mice later that day.

"Mummy, thank you so much, you're the best mummy in the world!!!"

Mummy me: "What was I thinking?!?"

Meanwhile, Ginger the cat have been busy leaving his marks around our garden, making it his second (or third?) home. I just hope that he'll always remember to go back to his real home at the end of the day.

So it seems, we've adopted two bunnies, two mice and almost a cat. 

Or shall I say, another effort to fully integrate with the local way of life here is achieved?